Surprises
by Random Romantasist 999
Summary: Alucard and Seras get into a bet. Ah just read and find out. AxS major fluff in later drab-chaps
1. The Bet

**Kay my lovely AluxSeras shippers, here's some fluff for you all to enjoy! Well there will be soon, this is just the prologue. This is going to be a little different mmkay loves? All of the chapters will be very short (which means I can update quicker) a little too long to be drabbles but too short for regular chapters, so I have dubbed them drab-chaps. Anyways I don't own Hellsing, I'm a high school student who has too much homework to go to court. Kay now, ON WITH THE STORY!!!!!! **

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"Police-Girl," Alucard drawled, "you really should be more aware of your surroundings. Falling on one's rump is unbecoming for a vampire."

"That was an _accident, _Master," Seras defended herself from the ground after tripping down the stairs.

"Which only goes towards proving my point," he smirked. "I bet I could surprise you at least ten times in one night without trying."

"Oh yea?" Seras growled her vampiric pride over ruling her better judgment. "I'd take that bet any day." The sadistic smirk spreading across Alucard's face made her realize what had just happened. "What do you get if you win?" she asked warily.

Alucard chuckled. "Oh I'm sure your little 'surprises' will be reward enough," he sniggered.

_Oh God if you're listening, __**please**__ help me_ Seras prayed. "I want rules for this little game of ours," she said, making Alucard pout. He had really wanted a no-rules challenge. "Number one, _all_ 'surprises' will take place during the night, and _not_ during any missions."

"Well of course, my dear," he purred mock bowing which earned him a blush from Seras and a smack over the head from the self same Draculina.

"Rule number two." she plowed on, "all of the 'surprises' have to be different."

"I wouldn't be shocked if the same trick worked ten times on you," he teased, his reward being same as before. "If that is all, I'm going to bed. It _is_ after all nearly dawn." He yawned and began to sink through the floor.

"HOLD ON!" Seras shouted at the only part of him remaining, his hat. "What do I get if I win?"

_I don't plan on letting that become an issue_ Alucard said in her head. With that he phased the rest of the way through the floor, leaving a rather irritable Seras two floors up.

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**You all know your job REVIEW! or I will think nobody loves my story and I'll quit wasting my plot bunnies' energy. So if you like tell me PLEASE! BUT I wouldn't flame if I were you, because my bunnies are very proud of this and I can't control it if they decide to go rabid and attack. THANK YOU ALL! I LOVE YOU EVER SO MUCH MY LOVELY READERS!!!!**


	2. Surprise Number One

**Yea I know I said that since these were short I'd get to update quickly, but I apparently lied. I have another chapter story and since that one is older it kinda took front seat, AND my plot bunnies just abandoned me so neh. Anyways I don't own Hellsing and I hear they have really crappy internet in prison, so if you sue you won't get a new drab-chap.**

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Seras yawned, her fangs glinting in the little amount of light that she let invade her coffin. _Tonight's the night of that stupid bet_ she thought to herself. _Alucard's probably going to begin as soon as I see him. _Quietly grumbling to herself Seras groped around for the remote that would free her from this dratted box. When her coffin hissed open she sat up to pop her back and was tackled by an enormous black dog (or was it a wolf?) who began licking her face. It put it's front paws on either side of her chest and its back set straddled her hips, blocking virtually every means of her escape. After a slight scuffle and a lot of tongue-in-mouth dodging Seras finally made it into a half sitting up position, her wait resting on her newly freed elbows. The dog seemed to smirk as it blinked open the other two sets of eyes it had been hiding and pressed its nose to hers.

"Maaassssssterrrrrrrr," Seras groaned in embarrassment at the sight of the other four familiar magma eyes. When she cracked open one eye she wasn't surprised not to see the furry face of Baskerville, but a still smirking Alucard in the a same position he had been in in Hellhound form with his knees replacing the rear paws. He grinned rakishly before placing a quick kiss to her lips.

"Point one for me," he chuckled before pressing his lips to her forehead and phasing out of the room. Seras scowled and disgustedly wiped the dog slobber off her face; this was going to be a long night if _all_ Alucard's "surprises" were like that. But, she smiled touching her lips, if they were all going to end that way maybe it wouldn't be _too _bad.


	3. Don't Fall Asleep Seras!

**I truly have no excuse for not updating, except for the fact that my plot bunnies like to act like loyal-less little bastards -.- Oh well. I made this one uber long so please don't kill me. Oh and I'm publishing a new AxS story soon called "Hers" or "Property of Seras Victoria Don't Touch" depending on if I'm feeling funny and stupid or serious and mysterious. Vote in your review, or suggest a title if you've figured out what it is. Anyways, I don't own Hellsing, or there would be little Alucard and Seras babies running around Hellsing… I guess it's good I don't own it then I guess… Oh well, ON WITH THE STORY!!!**

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Seras was _bored._ it had been a whole hour since she had received her "wake up call" and hadn't seen hide nor hair nor dog slobber of her master since, and as Integra didn't have a mission for her Seras was pushed over the edge and into boredom.

_There's got to be __**something **__to do_ Seras thought sucking on her bag of medical blood. _I could always go see Master, but he might try one of his "surprises". _Deciding this was a better alternative to the inevitable Seras decided to put her trepidation aside and focused on Alucard's room from one of the few times she had actually _seen_ it, hoping to surprise her master by phasing down there.

After a few seconds of focusing Seras began to feel a slight tingling all over her body, like it couldn't quite decide where it wanted to be. _This must be the weird thing that happens that Master told me about_* Seras cheered silently, but still determined. Suddenly the tingling sensation got worse and Seras closed her eyes in preparation for her decent into the devil's lair.

Fortunately, Seras made it to her destination, but unfortunately, she was concentrating so hard on actually moving that she wasn't too concerned with her landing… which luckily happened to be something soft… and alive.

"Not to say that I don't like the current chain of events, but may I ask just _why_ you are sitting in my lap, Police Girl?" Alucard asked. "It's most out of character for you."

Seras squeaked in embarrassment and tried to leap off of Alucard, but an arm that managed to snake its way around her waist kept her from doing this.

"Come now Seras," Alucard smirked. "A pet needs to obey its master."

Seras immediately stopped her squirming and glared up at Alucard. "I am _no one's_ pet," she hissed.

Alucard merely laughed, smirking and rested his chin on her head, much to his fledgling's surprise. "Now, tell me Seras," he quietly rumbled, "why is it that you have ventured into my abode, when you tend to avoid it like a bubonic plague?"

"I'm _bored_, Master," Seras pouted.

"I fell so used!" Alucard sighed dramatically making Seras giggle. "You only seek me out when it befits yourself!"

"I don't _only _ seek you out for myself," Seras half defended herself through a snicker. "Sometimes I have to get you for a mission." Alucard rolled his eyes.

After a few minutes of silence that both vampires enjoyed, Alucard began to slowly pet Seras's hair, causing the latter to drift into a deep sleep. _I guess he really does just think of me as a pet_ Seras thought sleepily, not noticing a shadowy tendril winding its self around her ankle.

Suddenly the tendril pulled taught and yanked Seras from both Alucard's lap and her nap. Acting as one with the tendril Alucard stood quickly and swooped down and pressed his lips to Seras's who eagerly responded.

"Point two," he smirked stepping over to his table where his blood was and sat down again to watch the very interesting spectacle of Seras trying desperately to overcome gravity and keep her skirt up.

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**OMG!!! THERE'S THE TINIEST HINT OF A PLOT!!!!! D: I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Kay, now that that's over I just have to say, I have no more inspiration. I can't think of anymore ways for Alucard to surprise Seras, so if you have one PM it to me (you have to PM cuz the surprises are well… surprises)**


	4. Of Flying Things Like Potpourri

**Wow, this one's kinnda long. Oh well. Thanks to all those who left me ideas! As this one was the most popular, I changed it around a bit, and bedaubing bedauboom I got this. As you clever peoples know I don't own Hellsing. ON WIT DA STORY HOMES!!! XD**

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Seras was pissed. Quite pissed. Extremely pissed. Astoundingly pissed. _Stupid Master_ she growled to herself as she glared up at the showerhead. After an hour and a half of her hanging upside down Alucard had deemed it appropriate to let her down. Right into a tub of mud. Where he had gotten said mud Seras neither knew nor cared. All that mattered to her was the fact that she had mud in her hair all the way to the roots. And apparently this had been some weird mud that dried very quickly because by the time she had stormed to her room and gotten in the shower the mud had caked into her hair and made itself very nearly impossible to get out. Her mood also wasn't helped by the fact that the hot water had run out after about five minutes. _Probably Master's doing_ Seras thought murderously. But one cold 45 minute shower and a whole bottle of shampoo later Seras shut off the water and wrapped herself in a towel. Stretching her stiff muscles she stepped out of the tub. A deep chuckling greeted her.

"_**MASTER!!" **_Seras screamed gripping her towel tighter to her chest. "What are you _doing_ in here?!?!?"

"I guess I can count _that_ as a point," Alucard laughed.

"You snuck into my _bathroom _while I was _showering_ because of a _bet_?" Seras hissed dangerously.

"Yes?" Alucard shrugged.

At his careless answer Seras's eye began to twitch. "Get _out NOW!" _she screeched.Reaching behind her she grabbed the first thing her hand came in contact with, the empty shampoo bottle, and threw it at him with all her might. Catching him off guard the bottle bounced harmlessly off his fore head, but the bar of soap she threw next wasn't quite as kind. Alucard expertly dodged all of Seras's projectiles until she ran out. Luckily she stopped when she had to go so far as to rip the toilet seat off.

"Point three, still," Alucard chuckled (_Chuckling, Always chuckling _Seras thought) sinking into the floor. Seras scowled at her now empty end of the bathroom and saw all of the things that littered the other side. A dumped over bowl of potpourri, a shattered china figurine and of course a cracked toilet seat, among many other things. _I guess I'll have to get Walter to come clean this up_ Seras thought unhappily. Sighing she stepped over the glass into her room to get dressed.

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**Sorry there wasn't any fluff. I just wasn't in a fluff mood today. Oh well. Again, leave your ideas for the "surprises" so that I may feed my ravenous plot bunnies. Also I have decided to put 1 reason why I support AxS in every AxS chapter/story I write. Oh and REVIEW!!!!!!!!!!!!!**

**Reason AxS is Best #1**

**Alucard and Seras have a higher probability of a happy relationship than Alucard and Integra.**

**P.S. Sorry if I insulted anyone with my terrible "gangsta" impression at the beginning.**


	5. New Roommate?

**Hey y'all! I'm back!! Here's drab-chap five! This introduces Girly-card, so TV series-ers beware!! Thanks to Omegalus for this idea! **

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Seras stepped out of her bathroom, still fuming, with steam billowing out behind her. She then saw a very strange sight. A 14-year-old girl was sitting on her coffin gently sucking on a bag of blood. When she heard the noise of confusion Seras made she turned around revealing a pair of red eyes and a set of wicked sharp fangs.

"Ah, so you must be Seras!" the girl chirped. She laughed when she saw Seras's hand dart to her side to get her gun, before she realized she was still in a towel. "Don't worr! I work for Hellsing!" the girl chuckled.

There was something familiar about this girl, that much Seras knew. "You're a vampire," she stated blandly. "Sir Integra didn't say anything about another vampire."

Again the girl laughed. It was a sweet tinkling sound, but had a dark ominous ring to it, like evil bells. "That's because I don't hang around long. Walter has a room for me, but he said I could stay in here for the time being. I'm Alison*, by the way."

Seras shrugged, maybe she could distract her master from his game with this young vampire. "Make yourself at home," she said as she dropped her towel. As modest as she was around men she didn't see a problem with girls seeing her.

Alucard's eyes widened. There was no way it was that easy. Surely his fledgling would have realized that Alison was just another form of himself, the same as Baskerville. When Seras had finally finished getting dressed there was a very hot and bothered male vampire sitting on her coffin. It was time to make his presence known. He silently snuck up on her and wrapped his long arms around her slim waist.

"Surprise Police Girl," he purred seductively in her ear. "That's four."

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**GASP! What will Seras do when she learns that Alison is Alucard? How will he surprise her next? And what does a perverted Frenchman have to do with anything? I'll tell you! Nothing. He has nothing to do with anything. Any way, REVIEW!!!!**

**Reason AxS is best #2**

**Alucard and Seras sounds better that Alucard and Integra.**

***Thanks to Metropolis Kid for letting me use his Girly-card name.**


	6. Reacton of Emotionaly Unstable Draculina

**Hey you guys! Umm… well there's no "surprise" in this chapter, but there **_**is**_** a hint of plottage! Wow, this looks like it'll be longer than I thought… Oh well, I don't own Hellsing (not until my 456****th**** birthday that is) so all I can do is write payless fanfiction. ON WITH THE STORY!!**

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Seras slowly turned around in her Master's arms. She glanced over his shoulder to where Alison was sitting, and found it empty, not a _huge_ surprise, really. It was just like Alucard to trick her using a form like that. She looked up at her master and smiled. "Master, I have to tell you something," she whispered.

"And what would that be, Police Girl?"

"Everyone knows that when you see a pretty girl in an anime, especially one that just changed in front of you, you're suppose to get a _nosebleed*_," Seras growled out the last part, and with that reared her fist back and shot it out to connect with Alucard's jaw with a satisfying crunch. Alucard let go of her and took a couple steps back in surprise, rubbing his jaw around a proud smirk.

"Well, Police Girl," he grinned. "It would seem I brought out another side of you."

"Yea, you did," she snapped. "And if you don't get out right now I'll bring her out to play again."

"Hmm…," he smirked. "Sounds tempting. I get to stay in your glorious presence, _and_ we get to play? I may just move my coffin in here."

Seras flushed crimson at what he was implying. "Master, just get OUT!"

"I could always turn into Alison, you seemed pretty comfortable with her."

Seras whipped around angrily bright red bloody tears springing in the corners of her eyes. "J-Just _go_ Master," she said shakily before turning her back to him. Alucard sighed and cursed himself, as cruel as he could be he hated seeing women cry, especially if it was his fault. He bowed his head and backed out of her room.

Seras checked and made sure that Alucard wasn't trying to invade her mind, then just in case made sure all of her strongest mental barriers were up before smirking in victory. _Fake tears work every time _she cackled dabbing at the side of her eye. _Hmm… I think I may need to find the captain _she thought an evil grin splitting her face. _We'll see who's getting who Master._

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**OMG PIP'S HERE! HI PIP! I LOVE YOU!! Just not with Seras. You can have any other girl you want! Like me for example! …Never mind I'm not allowed to date guys with braids and eye patches, well not fictional ones at least. Anyways, you guys know your job REVIEW so Juanita will get fat and be able to fight off the other plot bunnies that try to take her spot!**

*** I owe this quote to Malakodistudio's Hellsing Abridged episode seven "Mr. Weiner Goes to Rio" You should go watch it, it's amazing. **

**.com/user/Malakodistudio#p/c/C887FC499474C177/7/vvrs0zxMLcw**


	7. Plots, Plans, Devious Grins and Smooches

**Kay, sorry it took so long. -_- Juniata was under the impression she didn't have to do ANYTHING for the past TWO WEEKS! Yes, I hope you hear this Juni, it's directed at you. Anyways, sorry it took so long! ^-^ As you know, o don't own Hellsing, if you want something to happen in the manga/anime you're going to have to talk to Kouta Hirano. If you want something to happen in this (or any of my) story(ies) then I'm open to suggestions (I do one-shot, drabbles and birthday parties too). ON WITH THE STORY!!!!!! (Seriously though please throw plot bunnies my way)**

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"Zhat soundz like a wonderful idea, Mignonette," Pip cackled as a smirking Seras pulled away from his ear. The other Wild Geese watch with slight suspicion. If it made the Draculina twist her usually adorable face into such an evil expression, then it wasn't good for anyone. Funny how a far more threatening look from the master vampire failed to worry them in the slightest now, but a mischievous sneer from his fledgling had them looking back when they were walking alone, and made them pray to whatever merciful god there was that they hadn't managed to piss her off. Maybe he's loosing his touch on of the braver soldiers caught himself thinking.

_Better not let Master hear you think that_ Seras sing-songed in his head. _Even if you think he's 'lost his touch' he can still dismember you in horrible fashions, should he choose to bend the rules. _The soldier visibly paled.

"You alright, man?" one of his fellow comrade-in-arms asked. He merely shook his head slightly, and breathed a sigh of relief when Seras sashayed out with only a knowing smirk in his direction. Maybe he wouldn't die today.

Pip stood in front of his men, a wide grin spreading deviously across his face. "OK, men," he said. "This is what the Mignonette needs us to do…"

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Seras skipped down the abandoned hallway, a bright happy innocent smile etched into her features. _I'm gonna get Master, I'm gonna get Master _she cheered, she felt Alucard probing on the edges of her mind, and let down her guard just enough so that he could hear her mantra. She soon felt her Master's presence ooze into her senses. His chilling, yet warm, aura had ceased to creep her out these days, but, knowing what he wanted, she tensed, what Master wants, Master gets.

"Yes I do," Alucard's rich voice called from all directions.

"M-master, I know you're here," Seras fake-stammered.

"Well I should hope so, I am speaking to you after all," he laughed.

"Come out," she demanded in a fearful squeak.

"Oh, so the fledgling's making the orders around here now is she?" His voice seemed more focused this time, behind her, an a little to the left, so Seras quickly turned heel and saw… empty air.

"Hmm… I would have to say you're faced the wrong way."

Seras again whirled around and this time was met with the surprisingly smooth material of Alucard's shirt.

"Surprise six, Police Girl," he rumbled as he snaked an arm around her waist, and pulled her flush against his chest. "Now, my little beauty, what are you planning?"

"That's for me to know and you to never find out," she purred, wrapping her arms around his neck, thus pulling her closer to his face, and her goal.

"Now, now, you naughty Police Girl, you," he grinned. "Bad fledglings who don't tell their Masters what they want to know don't get treats."

"Mmmm… Have I been bad Master? Do you need to punish me?"

"Oh I do believe I will." With that Alucard whisked her away into one of his many portals. _Take as long as you want Pip,_ Seras thought, _I'm good here._

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**YAY! A surprise! Albeit a sorry one, but it was about as steamy as I can get! ^-^ Anyways I need serious help. This story is gaining a plot quicker than I can beat it down. I already have Partners? I don't need another plotted story. I do fluff fests, not plots. So, unless you want me to throw in an escape dinosaur, and a wallaby riding a bike, and make this a crack fic, OH or I could wait until a major plot point an have my cat wake up and it all be his dream! … Wow I need help… Anyways, unless you want that to happen, I need someone to tell me what happens next. As always, I only need you to review! And leave plot points if you feel so inclined.**


	8. Pipo

**Umm… Wow… It's been a while, huh? So, is any =one still reading this, or should I pen my Hellsing plot bunnies back up? *(complete silence)* Wow. That makes me feel loved -_- Anyways, I don't own Hellsing, so talk to someone who does. ON WITH THE STORY!**

_**=^w^=**_

Pip grinned an evil grin as he sauntered down the dungeon hallway. Much to his delight, his little mignonette had come to him with a most devious plan to win some bet. He wasn't sure as to why she wanted what she wanted done, but from what limited information she let him have, he was _sure_ Alucard would wind up with the cake on his face. Humming the brightest French song he could think of, he grandly swung open Seras's door with a cry of "Mignonette! It izcomplète!" His outburst of joy was soon cut short into an awkward silence when he noticed the rather compromising position Alucard had Seras in. "Umm… I well, umm…"

Blushing furiously, Seras pushed a now whining Alucard off her chest, and stood up off the bed. "What were you saying, Pip?"

"I-I-I-"

"Spit it out," Alucard drawled, a pout clearly noticeable in his normal scowl. "Or I'll begin to think you've wasted mine and my fledgling's time." He paused, an evil smile curling across his lips. "And you know what happens to people who waste my time."

Pip let out a very masculine squeak, and turned to a giggling Seras. "M-Mignonette, ze men 'ave finished."

Seras grinned, and shot him a secretive thumbs up. "Thank you, Pip. Was there anything else you wanted?"

"N-No," he said, casting a glance at Alucard's smirk. "Zat iz all." With that the mercenary turned quickly, and darted out of the room.

When the heavy door clicked shut, Alucard leant his head back, and let out his maniacal laugh, Seras's giggle joining it, and still not taking the insane edge off of it. "Well, Police Girl, I do believe that's number seven."

Seras scoffed. "Unfortunately for you, it surprised _you_ too, so it doesn't count."

Alucard grinned, his signature smirk curling across his cheeks. "Unfortunately for _you_, I wasn't the one who jumped."

She scowled, and thought back on Pip's entrance. He really didn't jump… "But _Pip_ was the one doing the surprising so it doesn't count."

At this pathetic attempt, Alucard actually laughed. "My dear Police Girl, why do you think I relocated us _here_ and not my own chambers?" Seras's jaw dropped, and she stared at the still chuckling vampire as he phased upwards. "Like I said, seven," he grinned down at her gob smacked expression.

_**=^w^=**_

**So, that was absolutely horrendous, and I'm not even sure anyone's still reading this. Well, if you are, review so I know you are! :D And I promise, scout's honor, that this story will be finished by March. And, if anyone's interested, I may be putting "Partners?" up for adoption, just PM me if you want it, and we'll talk. Same goes for "The Baby Hatters" despite the fact that none of you are **_**Alice**_** fans.**


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